Adjusting
by cupcakesintheimpala
Summary: S1!AU. Sister!fic. Addison 'Addie' Winchester left hunting the second she turned eighteen and never looked back...but the 'apple pie' life she found is now long gone. One day her brothers show up at her house, asking for her help: their father is missing. Looking for an escape, she goes with them. Can she handle going back to the life she hated so much?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

* * *

Title: Adjusting  
Summary: Season 1 AU. Sister!fic. Addison 'Addie' Winchester left hunting the second she turned eighteen and never looked back once she'd found her 'apple pie' life. But that's gone now - long gone. One night, her brothers show up on her front step asking for her help to find their missing father, and looking for an escape from what her life has become, she goes with them...but can she handle going back to a life she swore she was done with so long ago?  
Genre: Angst/Family  
Rating: T  
Pairings: None  
Spoilers: Anything from 1x02: Wendigo - 1.22: Devil's Trap is fair game.

* * *

Note: I couldn't get this idea out of my head. Thus, it became fic.

* * *

Prologue:

**Seattle, Washington**

_"Mama!"_

_"Take your brothers outside as fast as you can. Don't look back! Now Addie - Go!"_

_She was pushing Dean in front of her and holding Sam protectively to her chest as the they tore down the steps and out the front door._

Addie groaned and rolled over in her sleep, clutching Brielle's stuffed pink bear tighter to her chest, brow furrowing as the dream changed.

_"Addie I'll get her. It's okay."_

_"Okay." Addie rolled back over in bed and threw her pillow over her head._

_A strangled yell jerked her out of the doze she'd fallen into. She nearly fell out of the bed, tangled in her bed sheets as she tried to run toward her daughter's nursery. She was halfway down the hall when she heard Jason yelling. It wasn't long before she heard Brielle screaming in her crib and Jason yelling and she made it to the doorway -_

_Oh God._

_Jason was on the ceiling._

_Her fiance was on the fucking ceiling._

_The nursery was on fire._

_"Brielle!" she screamed over the roar of the flames. "Brielle!"_

Addie woke up screaming. It took her a few minutes before she realized that it had been a dream, but that didn't stop the fact that it had once been all too real.

She wouldn't forget that night - how could she? Her fiance and her six month old daughter were gone because of what had happened.

Addie glanced at her alarm clock and swore silently: 11:30 a.m. She'd overslept. Fantastic. Ray was going to evicerate her for being late. She yawned, got up and showered before changing from her pjs to her Wal-Mart uniform. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment as she quickly pulled long black locks up into a bun at the top of her head.

Green eyes stared back at her tiredly, dark circles evident under them. She rubbed her pale face and sighed before splashing water on it. It didn't help much; she hadn't gotten much sleep since the funeral. Why bother trying to look

As she was making her way to the kitchen to grab a couple of granola bars, a familiar voice stopped her.

"Nice place, sis."

She wheeled around to see her younger brothers, Dean and Sam Winchester parked on the couch.

_Son of a bitch._

* * *

Addie wasn't sure how long she stood there in the living room, staring dumbly at her brothers. Eventually, she managed to find her voice.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" she asked hoarsely.

Sam glanced at Dean, then at Addie.

"How've - How've you been?" he asked.

She stared at him incredulously. "Shitty. You didn't answer my question." When met with silence, she scoffed. "Figures. I'm late for work. Later."

"Addie -" She froze for just a second when she noted the pleading note in Dean's voice. "Can we just talk? Please?"

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, knowing she'd never get rid of them easily...and part of her didn't want to anyway, at least, deep down.

"Okay."

* * *

"So...this is that apple pie life, huh?"

"Not so much." Addie looked at her hands. "Not anymore, anyway."

Dean had been looking at a set of photographs on the mantle over the fireplace. Addie's throat constricted as he picked up a photo of her and Jason, taken back when she'd been around six months pregnant.

"You've been holdin' out on us, sis. Who's the lucky guy? Not to mention that niece or nephew you never told us about?"

_Fuck. _How could Addie tell them what had happened? How could she divulge how similar it had been to their mother's death?

"J-Jason," her voice cracked. "My fiance. And uh...its niece. Brielle." she blinked back tears and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep her composure. "Do uh...do you guys want a beer or something?"

She didn't like the way they looked at her, but any excuse to get out of the room at that point was fucking awesome. When they both nodded, she bolted for the kitchen.

"Add?" she heard Sam say softly as she fumbled with the bottles, her hands shaking so badly it was a wonder she hadn't dropped them. "Everything okay?"

Addie struggled not to cry and steadied her hands as she opened the beer bottles. "'M fine. Take those in the living room."

"Addie -"

"Go." she gave him a light shove and attempted to smile. "I'll be there in a sec, okay?"

He looked at her skeptically, but nodded and silently made his way back to the living room. Addie grabbed her cell and quickly called work, spinning a quick lie that she'd come down ill and wouldn't be able to make it in.

Then she went back into the living room. Sam wordlessly passed her one beer.

"You wanna tell us what happened?" Dean asked hesitantly after a while, breaking the awkward silence that hung over the siblings.

Addie shook her head as she sank down on the sofa inbetween the two men. Sam's hand slid gently over her shoulder.

"Addie?"

Silence. Dean looked at Sam questioningly, but then Addie spoke:

"It was just like that night," she whispered.

"What night, Ad?" Dean asked. "You gotta help us out a little here, alright?"

"Mom," she whispered brokenly, and the color drained from Dean's face as he realized what she meant. Sam's grip on her shoulder tightened. "She woke up crying and - Jason said he'd get her. I must've dozed off or something, but the next thing I knew I was awake and I -" a tear rolled down her cheek. "When I got there, he was on the ceiling, and Brielle was screaming and I - I couldn't get to her. Oh God...I couldn't..." Unable to speak anymore, she disolved into tears, the beer bottle in her hands slipping from her grip and falling to the floor where it spilled its contents onto the normally clean white carpet.

Sam pulled her into his arms and held her tightly while Dean cleaned up the mess. By the time he came back, Addie was already wiping her eyes and blowing her nose on a tissue offered by Sam. He wondered vaguely if she was covering the way she used to when they were kids.

When her boyfriend Scott had dumped her during her freshman year, he'd caught her crying several times when she thought neither he nor Sam were watching. She would put on her 'game face' and act like nothing had happened, fixing her make up before researching whatever case their father was on.

"Sorry," she was muttering thickly. "It happened less than a month ago. I'm...I haven't totally gotten myself together yet."

"It's okay." Sam said softly. "I...I lost my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago."

Her hand found his and squeezed gently. "I'm so sorry, Sammy."

"Thanks." he paused. "and it's Sam."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

* * *

"...so how far d'you think to Grand Junction from here?"

"Less than a day, probably. You want to ask her or do you want me to do it?"

"Why would I even bother?"

Dean stared at his brother in confusion. "What d'you mean?"

Sam shifted his weight uncomfortably. Addie had gone to get herself a new beer - he suspected she wanted to avoid talking about everything and he didn't blame her.

"She left to get away from the life - away from him." he said in a low voice. "Do you think she'd come back to find him?"

Dean frowned. "We need help, alright? What's better than having her with us?"

" Dad is _missing_." Dean growled. "She needs a distraction - she needs to do fucking _something -_"

"This isn't about Dad." Sam stared at him hard. "Is it?"

"What? Of course it is!"

"No it's not -"

"Bull."

"Sam -"

"No, he's right." Both men turned to see Addie walking back into the living room. She looked way more composed, and was staring at Dean coldly. "What the hell is your problem?"

He shrugged.

"Don't have one."

"Don't lie to me." she retorted, her tone deadly. Sam winced, reminded all too well of the fights she and Dean had gotten in when they were kids. "What stick jammed itself forty feet deep in your ass?"

"You left." he snarled.

"Yeah. I did." she spit out. "And?"

"That's it. You fucking _left _us!" he yelled, his voice echoing slightly in the large room. "You didn't call, you didn't write - fuck, did you even know Sam got into Stanford?!"

"Dean -"

"Eleven years, Add! _Eleven years! _You could've called me - you could've called Sam!"

"Dean -"

"Eleven years, Add! _Eleven years! _You could have called me - you could have called Sam!"

"Why the hell would I do that, D?" she asked, the volume of her voice rising quickly. "So Dad could drag me back kicking and screaming? I _didn't _want to be a hunter!"

"Dad is missing!" he snapped.

Addie's eyes widened. "Wait - what?"

"On a hunt," Sam said quickly, before his brother could respond; he was just making things worse. "Last time Dean heard from him was almost a month ago."

"We tracked him to Grand Junction, Colorado," Dean told her, now much calmer. "We were gonna head there after Sam's girlfriend - but Dad's journal -"

"You've got Dad's _journal_?" she said in surprise.

"Yeah." Dean hesitated. "It's how we found you. I guess he's been keeping tabs on you for a while."

Addie let out a strangled noise, somewhere between a snarl and a scream. "How -?"

"Credit card, W-2s...you name it, he probably got his hands on it." Sam shrugged. "Look...just come with us - you can leave any time you want. I'm not gonna stop you and neither is Dean...but we could really use your help, Addison."

She bit her lip, trying to force back all the angry thoughts she was having over their father tracking her. The man was her father, and she didn't blame him for wanting the thing that killed their mother dead, but the way he'd gone about the whole revenge thing was just _wrong_...

But she couldn't live with herself if he was hurt or close to dead and she didn't do anything to help Sam and Dean find him.

"Fine," she said after a long silence had passed. "I'm in."

* * *

**So what do you guys think? Constructive criticism is welcome. No flames please.**


	2. Wendigo: Part 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original character.

* * *

Chapter 1:  
**Wendigo: Part 1**

"Wake him up."

"I'm not gonna wake him up. He barely gets enough sleep as it is since everything happened."

Addie stared coldly at Dean then looked at Sam, who was tossing and turning in his sleep - quite an accomplishment for the small space they were all confined to. She reached over the front seat and grabbed their father's journal where it lay on the smooth leather and flipped it to a page Sam had shown her earlier.

"I can't believe he's still using fucking coordinates," she muttered.

Dean snorted. "Did you really expect him to change while you were gone?"

"No," she said shortly. "I just -"

At that moment, Sam woke with a start, looking around frantically, and then tried to calm himself as he realized where he was. Addie reached over the seat and rubbed his shoulder.

"You with us, Sam?" she asked softly.

He nodded and lifted one hand, wrapping it around hers and squeezing lightly. "'M fine, Add...thanks."

"Another nightmare?" Dean asked abruptly. Sam didn't look at him, and Dean nodded, leading to Addie smacking his arm hard, but not enough to interfere with his driving.

"You don't have to read my mind," Sam told him.

"You wanna drive for a while?" Dean asked.

Sam actually laughed at that. "Your whole life you never once asked me that."

Dean shrugged.

"Just thought you might want to. Nevermind."

"Look, man, you're worried about me. I get it, and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay."

Addie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah that's totally believable."

He turned around in his seat and glared at her. "I'm _fine._"

"Mhm." Dean said. Sam didn't respond. Instead, he grabbed a map and opened it.

"Where are we?"

"Just outside Grand Junction," Addie told him.

Sam looked down at the map. "It's weird," he replied, "These coordinates he left us. This Blackwater Ridge - There's nothing there. It's just woods." he looked at Dean. "Why is he sending us to the middle of nowhere?"

Dean didn't answer.

* * *

"So Blackwater Ridge is pretty remote." Addie rolled her eyes and looked around the room. Sam was in what she deemed as 'lecture mode'. It reminded her of her professors during her time in community college. She was tempted to tune him out, but she knew it was important for her to listen. "It's cut off by these canyons here," he gestured to the map he'd been looking at. "rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place."

Addie shifted her weight and thumbed through one of the books she'd found on the wildlife at Blackwater idly. She was already past bored with the Lost Creek Ranger Station.

"Guys check out the size of this freaking bear."

When she looked up from the book, she saw Dean holding up a picture of a man with a huge bear. She crossed the room and shoved him, chuckling quietly. Sam moved to get a closer look.

"And a dozen or more grizzlies in the area," he commented. "It's no nature hike, that's for sure."

"You kids aren't planning on going out near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?" a voice said.

A ranger had walked in. Addie thought fast - what would be a convincing cover for them to assume?

_College students...researchers. _Addie smiled, relieved that the thought had come so quickly. Maybe she hadn't forgotten everything.

"We're enviromental study majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper." she blurted.

The ranger surveyed her for a moment, and maybe it was too long, because Dean thrust a fist in the air.

"Recycle man." he said, grinning at them.

Addie wanted to kill him - given time (and the lack of his idiocy) they might have convinced the guy, but that wasn't happening.

"Bull." the ranger snapped, and Addie's face fell. "You're friends with that Haley girl, right?"

Addie nodded, deciding to go with it. "Yes. Yes, Ranger Wilkinson." she replied after a quick glance at his name badge.

Ranger Wilkinson sighed.

"Well I will tell you exactly what we told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying he wouldn't be back from Blackwater until the twenty-fourth, so it's not exactly a missing persons, now is it?" she and Dean both shook their heads. "You tell that girl to quit worrying. I'm sure her brother's just fine."

"We will. Thanks." Addie said quickly before Dean could open his mouth. She turned to her brothers and jerked her head toward the exit. "Let's go guys."

As they climbed back into the Impala, Dean caught his big sister's eye in the rear view mirror.

"Like riding a bike huh?" he said, smiling at her.

"Uh-huh."

She didn't smile back.

* * *

"Alright, this time just shut the fuck up and let me do the talking," Addie glared at Dean who was staring at her incredulously. "What? My cover story would've held if you'd kept your mouth shut."

They were parked outside of what Sam had determined to be the house that Haley lived in.

"Hey you weren't trying to sell it harder - I was trying to help!"

"Well this time don't!" she snarled.

He glared at her as they walked up to the front door. Addie reached over and knocked. A few minutes later, it opened to reveal a girl with dark hair, wearing a black tank top and jeans.

Addie smiled tentatively at her. God she hoped this would be as easy as lying to Ranger Wilkinson.

"You must be Haley Collins," she greeted. "I'm Addison, this is Dean and Sam." she gestured to her brothers. "We're, uh...rangers with the Park Service. Ranger Wilkinson sent us over. He wanted us to ask a few questions about your brother, Tommy."

Thank God Dean had managed to sneak a copy of the permit Tommy Collins had filed, or she would be lost right now.

Haley eyed them hesitantly through her screen door. "Let me see some ID."

Addie, Sam and Dean quickly produced the fake IDs Dean had fished out of his glove compartment when they left the Ranger station and held them up for Haley to see. She sighed and opened the door for them.

"Come on in."

* * *

Haley led them into her kitchen where another boy was seated at the table while on his laptop.

"My brother, Ben." she introduced, and Addie smiled tentatively at him.

"So if Tommy's not due back for a while, how do you know something's wrong?" asked Sam.

Haley, who'd gone to retrieve a bowl, returned to the table and placed it down on the table.

"He checks in every day by cell. He emails, photos, stupid little videos - we haven't heard anything in over three days now."

Addie glanced at her brothers. "Dead battery maybe? My cell only lasts so long, you know - gotta keep a charger close by."

Haley shook her head. "Even if, he's got a satellite phone."

Dean shrugged. "Could it be he's just having fun aand forgot to check in?"

Ben looked up abruptly. "He wouldn't do that."

Addie glanced at Haley, who'd gone to get more food to put on the table. "Let me help you with that," she said, leaving Sam and Dean to their own devices.

"Our parents are gone," she told Addie as Addie took a couple of bowls from her arms. "It's just my two brothers and me. We all keep pretty close tabs on each other."

Addie smiled. "I used to be like that with my brothers."

Haley cocked her head to the side, staring at Addie intently. "What happened?"

Addie was silent for a moment. "Their life wasn't the one I wanted."

* * *

"Oh hell no!"

"What? You've roughed it in nature before." Dean rolled his eyes at Addison and passed her a beer.

"That's not my point, Dean! We have no fucking indication Dad is here at all, except some lousy coordinates!"

"That doesn't mean he's not here." Dean shot back. "Haley's brother is missing. Sam told you what Mr. Shaw saw when he was a kid." Shaw was an elderly man they'd visited before going to see Haley. His parents had been killed, supposedly by a grizzly - but what kind of bear could break into a locked cabin? Addie grimaced at remembering the description Shaw had fed her brothers of the night his parents had died. She hadn't wanted to go in. Part of her was still stuck in the real world...the one where monsters didn't exist. "This thing is real...and they could be attacked tomorrow. Haley won't back down on going down to the Ridge to find her brother."

Addie shook her head. "You guys go. I -"

"What the fuck is your problem?" he demanded. "You were fine with everything up to this point - now that we know it's not a spirit, that it's an actual creature, you want to bail?"

Addie

"Fuck you, Dean."

She ran from the bar, pissing off several patrons as she shoved past them. Dean followed, against Sam's advice to let her be.

"You don't get to do this again," he told her angrily as he watched her pull out her cell, likely about to call for a cab. He grabbed it before she could punch any number. "You don't get to run without an explanation."

"Hey!" she tried to grab it again, but he held it out of her reach. The downside of being a big sister was having brothers that were both taller than you were. Damn teenage growth spurts.

"Talk to me, Addie." he said quietly. "You wanted back in. Why do you suddenly want back out?"

"It makes everything real again." she whispered, turning away from him and wrapping her arms around herself. "Dean, I haven't slept with a knife under my pillow in years - I haven't salted windows, or spray-painted Devil's Traps on the carpet. I felt safe - happy. And now I'm back in a world where that's not gonna cut it. I don't know if I can deal with that."

"Then you let us help you." Sam had joined them, and he pulled her into a hug. "Okay? Just...don't leave again, Add. Please. Don't put us through that again."

She hesitated. She'd wanted back in to find their dad - to find the thing that had killed her family. She knew she'd regret it if she backed out, but...

"Well I guess I should find some hiking boots then." she said finally, gesturing to the tennis shoes she was wearing. "These aren't gonna cut it." Sam smiled in relief and hugged her, and she felt Dean slip her phone back into her hand. "Let's figure out what this is and gank the fucker."

* * *

**I decided to break it into two parts 'cause it just wasn't cuttin' it to cram everything in here. I have more focus on Addie coming in part 2, which I think is gonna be better than just inserting her into the episode.**

**Anyway, reviews are welcome. Constructive criticism is accepted - no flames please!**


End file.
